Past and Future 

   Lately my life seems to be consisting more and more of memories.  Perhaps because I’m getting older and there are a lot of them to recall.  It could also be because I’ve given up on television and most other forms of so-called entertainment.  Whatever the reason I spend a lot of time recalling events from long and not so long ago.

   Many of these memories are happy and joyful ones, ones that I thoroughly enjoy reliving.  I remember the many places my wife and I traveled, the cruises we took and cities we’ve visited around the world.  I also enjoy remembering special events in the lives of our children; their births, birthdays and everything from beginning kindergarten to obtaining college degrees.  In some ways I look at the great memories of the past as perhaps a prelude to the joy and happiness that awaits in heaven.

   However, there are also many memories I would prefer not to recall; memories of pain and sorrow, of times of trouble and strife.  Most of all I sorrow for the many sins of my life.  I wish there were some way I could go back and rewrite my life, taking out the evil I have done and the hurt I may have caused others.  But there is no going back, only regret and sorrow for the wrong I’ve done in the past.  I sometimes consider these memories as a part of my penance for the sins I’ve committed and can never go back and undo.

   Whether the memories are good ones or bad ones, they lead me to give thanks to my Lord.  I thank Him for the joy and happiness of the pleasant memories and hope for the perfect joy of eternal life in His presence.  I thank Him also for the bad memories, the ones that bring me sorrow and regrets.  I stand in awe, giving humble thanks for His mercy and forgiveness.

   I must live with my memories, those I love and those I’d rather forget.  I can’t go back and relive the good memories and I can’t go back and fix the bad ones, but I can go forward trying to create only the good memories and doing all in my power to never again sin and offend my Lord.