A Constant Battle 

   “Be sober and vigilant.  Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.” (1 Peter 5: 8 – 9) 

   Just when I think I am winning the battle, when I am confident that I am on the right path and the worst is behind me, then comes Satan to prove me wrong.

   No matter how I try the evil one is always in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to strike.  “Watch an episode of your favorite TV show, you can pray later, God won’t mind.”  “You can sleep a bit longer this morning and say prayers whenever you get up.”

   I know that Satan fears prayer and so he attacks me most when it comes to prayer.  As a Benedictine I am to say prayers at various times each day; it is not only a way of prayer, but a way of keeping God in mind throughout the day.  To skip them or hurray through them destroys the purpose.  They are a time to put the world aside and be in the company of my Lord giving thanks, seeking His guidance and strength.

   I used to think that the battle would become easier, but it seems the closer I come to God the more the attacks against me intensify.  It seems that as my faith increases and my love of God grows, the attacks are more frequent and stronger.

   I’ve come to understand that the battle will never end as long as I live; I must remain on guard every hour of every day.  I may never be free of Satan in this life, but I know that God will give me the strength to resist and will bring me home when my time on this earth is done.