Lost 

   Some days I feel lost, like I’ve gone off the rails and am careening through life headed for disaster.  Some days I search for God but can’t seem to find Him even though I know He is there.

   Many have written of living for years wondering if God is still with them.  St John of the Cross wrote of the dark night of the soul.  St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta spoke of feeling that emptiness for many years  But they continued to live their life for God even though they may have felt empty inside.  They never lost their trust in God's presence remained within them.

   I would never compare myself to these great saints but in some small way I understand what they are speaking of.  There are days when I struggle in my relationship with God.  Days when Satan seems to have the upper hand no matter how I try to reject him.  And yet I know that God remains with me always.

   Thankfully, these times for me are rare and infrequent.  I suspect He knows that I do not have the strength of John of the Cross or Mother Teresa of Calcutta and therefore limits these times of testing.  He is right, in my weakness I fear I would fail if such times were longer.  But He doesn’t want me to fail, only to grow in trust, knowing that He is now and always will be with me in all things.