Sinfulness

   “I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”  (Romans 7: 15)

   I take some small comfort in Paul’s statement above.  I am not and will never be strong enough to resist Satan every time he comes with his temptations and lies.  None of us are that strong.  The apostle to the gentiles, one of the greatest Christians who ever lived seems to have suffered the same weakness.  He also did those things he hated; he too didn’t understand his own actions at times.

   I strive to avoid sin; I pray for the strength to resist Satan.  Still, a word, an action can cause me to sin, sometimes seriously.  The door I try to keep closed opens a bit and Satan gladly enters.

   Sometimes the least slight or feeling of hurt causes the greatest outrage in my response.  There is no logic to it and afterwards I look at myself and wonder what could have caused me to react in such a manner.  Of course the answer is Satan and his demon warriors.  They glory not only in the fact that I have sinned but in the guilt I feel for having hurt another by my sin.  However, in truth the fault is mine even though it is the evil one who prods me to sin.  I am weak, needing God’s help and I sometimes fail to seek it.

   I will sin, that’s simply a fact.  Try as I may I will fail at times and Satan will win a battle.  The important thing is to keep up the fight, trying harder each time to resist.  God is with me and He will strengthen me, but I sometimes fail to turn to Him.  I will sin again and again I will regret it.  Again I will go to God in sorrow and repentance.  Again He will forgive and love me.  And then again, I will sin.

Lord I sin; I do the wrong that I don’t want to do.

I fail to turn to you and seek Your strength.

By my own fault I fall prey to the evil one.

Help me Father, give me the strength to resist.

Amen

“For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not wish is what I do.”  (Romans 15: 19)