The Unknowing

   For several years I have studied my faith.  I’ve studied doctrine and dogma as well the theology behind them.  I studied apologetics to be better able to understand and explain my faith.  Not so I can say, “Look at me, see how much I know” but so I can help myself on my path to God and to be better able to share that faith with others.

   Yet there is an unknowing that is beyond any study or learning.  I’ve found it everywhere I look.  A simple example would be to say that I’ve studied God to learn about Him, but I don’t even know what He looks like.  Not only do I not know, it’s impossible to know.  This is the unknowing and I’ve come to understand that it is just as important as any knowledge I’ve gained; perhaps even more so.

   Since the loss of my wife heaven has been on my mind far more than ever before.  But heaven also falls into the unknowing.  It is not possible to understand or to know what heaven truly is.  And yet getting there is every Christian's goal.  We are driven by a tremendous desire to get to a heaven that we can’t fully understand.

   I recognize and accept that there are things I will never know in this life.  If I insist on dwelling on those things I can only find frustration.  The unknowing is what requires faith; believing what can’t be proven in this world.

   St. Paul said, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, or the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Cor 2: 9).  I place my hope in my God, who is faithful in all things.

The reality of You is hidden from us Lord.

We see You only dimly in a world clouded by sin.

Bring me to the place You have prepared.

That I may truly know You.

Amen