Live Life for God 

   For a long time after the death of my wife my first prayer of the morning and my last prayer at night was for the Lord to take me as well.  I wanted more than anything to be with her.

   At some point, and I can’t say for sure when, I stopped making those prayers.  I’m not one who “hears” the voice of God but in my heart I came to know that, in those prayers, I was somehow disdaining the gift of life given me by my God.  He will take me to Himself in His own time and it is my place to accept His will and continue to live for Him.

   For over forty-eight years my calling was to matrimony.  That was a gift from God, and I thank Him all the time for the joy and happiness of those years.  But now He has given me another gift, another calling.  He has called me to see Him as I saw my wife, my life partner and most beloved.  In the quiet of my home we sit and commune.   Many times I’m not even aware of the passing time.  In the silence I am with my God.

   God has a plan for me in this life, I want to live it.  He has called me to silence and a closer relationship with Him.  Part of this is the Benedictine community of St. Leo’s Abbey.  As an aspiring Benedictine Oblate I am called to a more contemplative, prayerful life.  I am called to live every moment for Him, making all I do a prayer, whether in work, in play, in joy or in sorrow.

   I still miss my wife terribly and will for the rest of my life.  I love her with all my heart and I know that I will continue to do so throughout eternity.  However, I no longer ask God to take me now.  Eternity is forever, I can wait for His call.  In this I have found peace. 

Father, You know the desires of my heart.

May those desires always reflect Your will.

I offer my life to You.

Lead me to eternal life in Your kingdom. 

Amen