Finding God 

   “The only One who can teach me to find God is God, Himself, Alone.” (Thomas Merton, “New Seeds of Contemplation”) 

   For a very long time I searched for God.  I never found Him until I quit searching and simply opened myself to Him and let Him introduce Himself to me.

   On three occasions I applied to the Deaconate, thinking I could find God there.  Each time I was unsuccessful.  I finally realized that He was not calling me to the Deaconate, and I needed to look elsewhere.

   I took many college level theology classes and spent three years of Sunday afternoons studying to become a certified Catechist.  In all those studies I learned a lot about God and my faith, and I am blessed to have had the opportunity to increase my knowledge in these ways.  However, God was not in the books or lesson plans.

   The saints knew God, so I read about many of the saints and their lives.  I learned a lot about the saints, the trials in their lives and, in many cases their martyrdom.  These efforts helped my spiritual life, but I did not find Him by reading about others, and their relationships with God.

   No matter how much I learned, how much I studied, or how many saints and holy people I read about, I couldn’t find Him.  I began to believe that I could spend my whole life searching and still not find the Lord.  The thing I wanted most, to better know God and my place in His plan, seemed out my reach.

   Finally, I realized that I would never find Him in the world, or in books, or in the lives of others, only within myself.  Instead of looking for Him in all the wrong places, I needed to look into my own heart.  When I did I found that He had been there all the time waiting for me.

 

Father, we search for You, but we look in the wrong places.  You are with us always, in our hearts and souls.  Help us to stop looking elsewhere so that we can find You within us.  Amen