In the Hands of God

 

   “Prayer is not about asking for things.  Prayer is about putting yourself in the hands of God.”  (Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta) 

   Fifty years ago today I married the woman I intended to spend the rest of my life with.  Our journey in life was one of ever deepening love and devotion; the two truly did become one.  A year and a half ago, she went home to the Lord and I’m left to finish my journey without her.

   “Til death do us part”.  These words from the marriage vows don’t mean very much in the early years, we tend to forget them.  As we grow older we realize that at some point death will part us, but we still push it from our thoughts.  When it happens the reality hits like a sledgehammer.  The pain is beyond incredible.  My heart still aches for her and there is an emptiness inside that can’t be filled.

   What I have come to understand is that I am not strong enough to go on without help.  The love and help of my family and friends are a tremendous blessing but I need more.  I need the help of my Lord.  I need to put myself in His hands, trusting in His love and mercy.

   God blessed us with over forty-eight years of marriage.  Years of love and devotion to each other and our children.  On this, our fiftieth anniversary, we had planned to be touring the Holy Lands.  Without her the only trip I truly want to plan for is the trip to my eternal home.

   But God is good and I’m confident that she is in His company waiting for me to join her.  I will finish the years God has chosen to give me in preparation for that final journey home, following His will as best I can.  I happily anticipate spending eternity with Him and Karen.  Our marriage may have ended with her passing, but our love is eternal. 

Father I miss her so much.

I know she is with You.

She knows all the joys of heaven.

When it is time, bring me to You and to her. 

Amen